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AYSO Region 13
Pasadena Area Youth Soccer

Being a Supportive Soccer Parent

How to be a supportive AYSO parent. Tips for positive sideline behavior and helping your child enjoy and develop through soccer.

Being a Supportive Soccer Parent

Practical ways to support your child before, during, and after games.

[IMAGE: Parent and child walking to soccer field together]

Before the Game

Setting the Tone

What you say on the way to the game matters.

Things to say:

  • “Have fun out there”
  • “I love watching you play”
  • “Just do your best”

Things to avoid:

  • “Make sure you score today”
  • “Don’t mess up like last time”
  • “Coach better play you more this week”

Arriving Ready

  • Leave early enough that you’re not rushing
  • Make sure they’ve eaten something and have water
  • Let them use the restroom before the game starts
  • Arrive 15-20 minutes early so they can warm up with the team

During the Game

Where to Sit

Find a spot where:

  • You can see the game
  • You’re with other parents from your team
  • You’re not directly behind the goal or near the coach’s area

What to Cheer

Type Examples Effect on Kids
Supportive “Nice try” / “Great hustle” / “Good pass” Encourages them to keep trying
Neutral General applause, cheering Creates positive atmosphere
Distracting “Kick it” / “Shoot” / “Pass” Kids look at sideline instead of the ball
Harmful “What was that?” / Criticism of refs or players Kids feel embarrassed, anxious

Cheer for effort, not outcomes.

Staying Quiet

When your child has the ball and you can see what they should do, it’s hard not to yell instructions.

Reasons to resist:

  • By the time they hear you, the moment has passed
  • Parent instructions may conflict with what the coach taught
  • Kids become dependent on sideline direction instead of learning to read the game

When Calls Don’t Go Your Way

Referees — especially at younger levels — are often teens learning the job. They will miss calls.

  • Don’t yell at referees (your child is watching)
  • Don’t loudly complain about calls to other parents
  • If there’s a real concern, let your coach handle it

After the Game

Right After the Whistle

  • Let your child finish with their team (coaches often do a brief post-game huddle)
  • Clap for both teams
  • Thank the referees

When Your Child Comes to You

First words to try:

  • “That looked fun”
  • “You worked really hard out there”
  • “Want your water bottle?”

Things to avoid:

  • “Why didn’t you shoot when you had the chance?”
  • “You should have passed more”
  • Analysis of what went wrong

Let them lead the conversation. If they want to talk about the game, follow their lead. If they want to talk about something else or say nothing, that’s fine.

The Car Ride Home

Do

  • Play music they like
  • Talk about non-soccer things
  • Let silence be okay

Don’t

  • Replay the game moment by moment
  • Criticize teammates, coaches, or referees
  • Ask probing questions about their performance
  • Offer unsolicited advice

If They Want to Talk

If your child brings up the game:

Good questions:

  • “What was the most fun part?”
  • “Did you feel like you gave your best effort?”
  • “What do you want to work on at practice?”

Questions to skip:

  • “Why did you do [specific thing]?”
  • “Didn’t coach tell you to [something]?”
  • “Do you think the ref made good calls?”

When Your Child Is Struggling

Signs They’re Not Having Fun

  • Dreading games or practice
  • Frequently saying they want to quit
  • Anxiety before games
  • Loss of confidence

What Might Help

  • Talk to them privately (not right after a game)
  • Focus on what they enjoy vs. what’s hard
  • Talk to the coach — they may have insights
  • Consider whether pressure is coming from home

It’s okay if soccer isn’t their thing. The goal is for kids to enjoy being active and being part of a team.

Quick Reference

Before: “Have fun. I love watching you play.”

During: Cheer effort, not instructions. Stay quiet when they have the ball.

Right after: “That looked fun.” Let them lead the conversation.

Car ride: Talk about anything but the game (unless they bring it up).

More Resources

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